July 18, 2011

Today I find myself really struggling for something to say. Imagine that, me at a loss for words. It seems like the last 2 weeks or so have been extremely stressful for me, which in turn makes me very emotional. I have been happy, sad, angry, depressed and apathetic. I am still struggling with my final essay topic which only adds to my stress. I think I have finally decided on a topic, but I have to see what research I can find about it. I am a little sad about this class ending, because I have really enjoyed it. Next fall my younger son will probably be going to OTC and he will have to take this class also. Isn't that funny, mother and son in college at the same time and at the same school. The only difference will be that I will graduate a year before him. Work has been really draining as well, which seems to sap my creativity. Home life has been very strained lately as well. I feel like all the frayed ends of my life are coming apart just a little bit more. Finding time to fit everything into every day has been a real challenge. I thought I was doing pretty well at it, but now I am not so sure. Maybe it is just that the stress has widened a bit the cracks that were all ready there. Sometimes I just want to not do anything, but my personal fear of failure will not allow that. I just have to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other, even if I am not going very fast. I also think that a change in the weather would really help. The garden has needed water every day, but the heat is still making my lettuce and turnips wilt a bit every day. That is a good description for how I feel right now, wilted. Well, I am going to try and work on some research now, since this blog was the only thing due by a certain time today, and I can work as late as I need to on other things.