Journal Day 2, June 30, 2011

So today I am going to talk about my journey to nursing school and how I got to be here today. I guess that I always wanted to be a nurse from the time I was a little girl. I remember reading the Clara Barton book series which described what I would now call "old school nursing", where nurses went with doctors to patient's homes to see them and surgery was not the modern medical technology of today. It was really more just about taking care of patients. I have always respected the nursing profession and couldn't wait to go to nursing school. Well, except for brief moments of wanting to be a doctor or a veternarian. I even remember when the St Johns School of Nursing was located at the hospital and thinking that someday I would get to go and wear that white uniform and nurse's cap. Ha! That was before I actually had to wear a nurse's cap and realized what a pain in the rear they really are. Oh yeah, and that those nifty white uniforms show every little stain. My journey to nursing school was originally going to begin right after high school but then life happened and my journey took the long and winding road. I tried working in a grocery store, a convenience store, waitressing, construction work,  and hospital laundry. Then I went to school to be a medical assistant, which turned out to be a big waste of time and money when I couldn't find a job. I finally did go to nursing school and realized that it was everything and nothing like I thought it was going to be. And now I am going back, so I can be a better nurse, a better leader, a better educator, and of course a better provider since the money is better as an RN than an LPN. I want to be able to provide better care to my patients and to feel like I really know what I am doing. I have certainly learned a lot on the job, but I think the improved education will make a difference. I also learned along the way that book learning is only half of the knowledge I have gained. There truly is an art to nursing as well as a science and the art must be learned not taught. It is something that comes from within and allows me to celebrate victories, mourn losses, and hopefully know the right thing to do each and every day. Being a nurse has also helped me to overcome some of my own introvertedness as I must interact with others, including total strangers, and I cannot hide away from the world everyday. I know this continuation in my journey is not going to be easy, and this first semester really made me stretch my limits and abilities. I know that this will only make me a stronger person and a better nurse. I often wish things could just be easy, but you don't learn from easy. It is the challenges of life and school and everything else that add building blocks to character. Easy would just make me lazy and lazy never gets anywhere. That being said, I know that I do need a break every now and then to recharge and refocus. I am learning how to balance and I am trying to learn not to get so overwhelmed.  I cried on the first day of this semester and seriously questioned if I could really do it. I had been very casual in my attitude when telling everyone I was going back to school and then reality set in . But look, the semester is almost half over, my grades are good and I really feel like I am getting in the groove and learning something, including how to fill up a page with words that make sense and to do it in a reasonable amount of time. I know now for certain that my decision to continue my nursing education is the right one and this too shall pass, just like a kidney stone or gallstone. A little bit painful, but it won't kill me in the end. I know that one day I will look back on this and be glad I did it. I also hope to be an inspiration to others who are considering entering nursing school or continuing nursing school. And someday I will tell my future grandchildren and great grandchildren about this wonderful journey I took down the road with the vines and the speedbumps and the rabbits and the birds.. The good and the bad and the things that weren't as bad as I thought they were. And one day soon I will stand in my cap and gown and receive my diploma with my head held high and a giant smile on my face.