Everything Going On

Wow, has it really been a month since I wrote anything? I have been super busy this last month with work, school, and of course FOOTBALL. In case you haven't heard, the Logan Rogersville Wildcats won the quarterfinal game against the Cassville Wildcats. This was a major big deal for our team, as we have lost in this round to Cassville for the last 3 years, so this will make the first time in LR history that we have made it to the semifinals. That means we are one win away from going to the Jones Dome in St Louis for the Show Me Bowl state finals over Thanksgiving weekend. We have to play Richmond next Saturday, and I hope we play at home, because it is a 4 hour drive up there and I have chemistry lab next Saturday, so if we have to play in Richmond, I will miss the game. That will really be a bummer, but I will be able to go to the finals in St Louis, so that will be awesome! I printed out a bunch of pics from the game today, and I wondered just how many pics I could print before I ran out of ink. Turns out that about 15 full page prints will use up quite a bit of ink!! My husband and oldest son went to the woods early this morning for opening day of deer season, but no luck today. Maybe they will have better luck tomorrow. I may go with tomorrow, though I have been going for the last 11 years and have yet to get anything. It's not that I haven't seen any, just no luck getting one to shoot at. The first year I went I had an awesome 6 point standing about 30 feet from me and I just didn't know what to do. I may not have gotten him, but I will always have that memory of looking at him while he was looking at me. The funny thing was, he just stood up out of the field, and I don't think he even knew I was there until he stood up. I have gotten really good through the years at processing the ones that my husband and son get. My younger son has also never gotten one, but my older son gets one almost every year. I guess he got all the luck in the family. I do like a fresh venison roast for Thanksgiving dinner, because to me it just seems more traditional than turkey. I am pretty sure the pilgrims and Indians had venison on the first Thanksgiving.

Midterms

It is hard to believe the fall semester is half over and I am already thinking about registering for next semester!!. I did find out that two of my classes will actuallly have to be seated classes, so I might get to see some people that I have only met by computer so far. I am looking forward to it. Midterm grades are in and I am happy! I have had a few bumps in the road and a minor meltdown or two, but I have to say it has been worth it. I just keep focusing on my final goal and try to take things one day at a time. I am looking forward to a time when I can start getting more sleep though. Maybe next summer when I wont have so many classes to take. Though I do plan to garden again next summer and that is best done early in the morning. I finally pulled up the last of my plants today after harvesting the last of my veggies in anticipation of the freeze this week. I did end up with a 5 gallon bucket full of tomatoes and peppers. I didnt realize I had that much still on the plants. I am going to try fewer plants next time in hopes of better yield. I did get a bit carried away in the spirit of buying starters this spring. I am also thinking about growing some different things next time, maybe some broccoli and carrots and onions. I might try potatoes again, if the mice dont get to them.
I am sitting here listening to the wind pick up, so I think it will be storming soon. I do love a good thunderstorm! As long as it doesnt rain on Friday, because I hate going to football games in the rain. We won our game last Friday against Mt. Grove, just 2 more to go for the regular season, then on to post season play. We are going to be the featured game of the week on KY3 this Friday, so watch the news if you can. I found a cool new series on TV to watch, called The Walking Dead, on Sunday nights on AMC. It is about life after the zombies take over. Not too scary, but more in the spirit of the Night of the Living Dead movies, if you are old enough to remember those. I am still trying to finish the Fire of Heaven trilogy, though I havent had too much time to read lately, I did take about an hour on Sunday to just relax and read. Well, time to go before the power does, the lights are flickering a bit.

Sad Days

It was a sad weekend in Wildcat country after a big loss Friday to Bolivar. The first half started good and we were only down by one touchdown at the end of the half, which gave me hope for a quick recovery in the second half. However, during the second half we literally got our rearends handed to us on a platter with gravy. The Bolivar defensive line could stop a mack truck and trying to tackle the offense looked like the coyote trying to catch the roadrunner! The good news is that the loss didnt affect our district standings, which is what counts when you are trying to get to state. I have been keeping the weekend after Thanksgiving open for the last two years, and this year will be the same because that is when the state championship game is. I truly hope that this will be our year. We have to go to Mt. Grove this Friday, then home for the last 2 games. Go Wildcats!!! Went for a drive  out in the country today, just to get away from homework and the computer for a bit. The color in the trees is absolutely gorgeous! I am surprised at how much color there is with so little rainfall, but then rain will just bring the leaves down and then I will have to rake. I picked some more tomatoes and bell peppers today, wont be long and that will be all for the year. I am just trying to enjoy it while it lasts. I did see 2 turkey today while we were driving, and several yesterday while out hitting the last few yard sales of the season. It was a really nice day to be out and I got a few good deals as well. Looks like we are supposed to get a little rain this week then cooler weather, so it will finally feel like October. My older son went bow hunting today. He didnt get any, but he did see several including a really large buck. I think he will go out again next weekend and I hope he has some luck. Venison in the freezer is always a good thing, and I am ready as I got all my butcher knives sharpened at Bass Pro last week. So maybe the sad days this weekend are going to be happy days this week.

What's Going On

It has been a little bit since I last posted. Last week was crazy busy with school work. I did do pretty good on the three tests I took 2 weeks ago. I really think that taking a nutrition test, an A&P test and a chemistry test all on the same day was a bit crazy. I think next time I will try to space it out a bit. I was on call that week, though, and I didnt want to get disturbed while testing so the Saturday date did work better. I had an Algebra test last week and that went pretty good as well. I did have a minor meltdown last Sunday night trying to get my chemistry homework done. Note to self, do not put off chemistry homework until the last minute!!! It is hard to believe that the semester is almost halfway over. WOW!!! I have got to get my nursing school application turned in soon. I guess I could have already turned it in, but I wanted to wait and be sure that I was going to do OK in my prerequisite classes and that doing them online was really going to work for me. I lucked up about a week ago and got ahold of a small computer desk that someone was giving away, so now I have a little office area set up in the corner of my bedroom and that is working out much better than trying to do homework at the kitchen table. Right now, I am sitting here with my dog in my lap, and that is the best part of doing homework at home. I had a chemistry lab today, and took a quiz there that went pretty well. The funny thing was, when my alarm went off this morning, I was so tired that at first I didnt know what day it was, so I didnt know if I had to go to work or school!! My son's football team is still going strong, so far we are 6-0 for the season, with our biggest challenge (Bolivar) coming up this Friday. And we are playing it in Bolivar. It does promise to be a good game. Next Saturday is College Day at MSU, so I guess we are going to that as well, and get to watch a Bears game as part of the college experience.. My older son has taken up bow hunting this year, and he is going to go out in the morning to hunt, so I hope he has good luck. He can take a deer or a turkey with his bow this time of year, and either one would be welcome in my freezer. I have been watching him practice and he is really good at it!! We all also went to the firing range today for a little practice with the rifles before season next month. A little rusty at shooting but not too bad. It was a beautiful day to be outside enjoying nature. My garden is still producing tomatoes, bell peppers and tabasco peppers, but I suppose it wont be long until the first freeze and then that will be it until next spring. Then I will have to get out there and get the garden ready to go to sleep for the winter. I think the hummingbirds have all flown south for the winter, I havent seen any in a few days, but I still have the feeder up in case there are any stragglers still out there. I do have a huge spider web with a very large spider in it on the front porch. It looks really cool early in the morning with the dew and the early light. I will have to try to get a picture and maybe try to upload it. I got a new phone (smart phone!) and I am still trying to decide if I am smarter than my smart phone! Oh the joys of learning new technology. Just about the time I get it figured out, something new will come along. Well, that is what is going on for now, and I will try to post again soon. Hello to Ms. Anthony if you are still reading my blog!

Life Goes On

Its been another crazy busy week at work. I hope this next week settles down just a little. I can handle crazy work and I can handle crazy school stuff, but when I get hit with both at once, then I just feel a little crazy!!!!
 I took 3 tests on Saturday, which in itself is a crazy thing to do, but that way I only have to take one trip to the school. Plus, I was on call last week and I didnt want to stress while taking a test, worried that I might get a call. As it turns out, I didnt get any calls, but I dont like to test Murphy's Law that much. I got my chemistry test results already, and I did good on that one, so I hope I did as good on the other two. I did get a chance to relieve some stress on Friday night, with another rousing high school football game. We played Catholic this time, and it was the first game so far where we played against another team of our caliber. In other words, it wasnt a wipeout game and we had to work at it to win. In fact, we won with a field goal at literally the last second of the game. I thought for a minute it was going to go into overtime. Everyone was on their feet at the end, screaming and cheering on both sides of the stands. Both teams played a good game, and the boys from Catholic have nothing to be ashamed of. Oh, did I mention they beat us last year at home, then we beat them in the playoffs last year on their field and that we played at Catholic this time? The funny thing was, I ran into someone I work with at the game, and she has a boy who is a senior playing for Catholic. Coworkers on opposite sides of the stands! Loving the rain these last few days, but I am so glad the rain held off during the game. I was prepared though, brought the big umbrella with. This week we play at home against Marshfield, who is one of our big rivals. Last year, they came to our field and tagged all the players cars in the parking lot while we were at an away game. These high school rivalries are quite amusing so long as it doesnt get carried away. Well, time to go now. I've been doing chemistry for the past few hours so now my brain is kinda mushy. I think I will go watch a little TV before bed, then tomorrow it starts all over again. Life goes on.

What a Week!

It has been a busy week! I went to my son's football game on Friday in Reed's Spring. We won 48-0!. We are now 3-0. Of course that also meant that dinner on Friday was from the concession stand at the game. Not too bad this week. We have learned to get to the games early for a good parking spot, and the food is better the earlier you get there. The big game we are all looking forward to is the game against Bolivar on Oct. 7. They are also having a good season and are one of our biggest competitors. It looks to be a good game, and probably a close one. So if you are a Bolivar Liberator fan look out the Wildcats are coming, and if you are a Rogersville Wildcat fan, Go Wildcats!!!. I have a chemistry test and a nutrition test this week, an A&P test next week and an Algebra test the week after that. I hope my brain can handle all this! I do think I am ready for Chemistry and Nutrition and I hope I am ready for A&P. Algebra should be a breeze as I am pretty good at math and I really like math, which just goes to show what a nerd I really am. I spent about 3 hours on Algebra today and the time just flew by. I guess I like math because it is so ordered and once you know how to do the problem or what the formula is, the rest is just solving the problem and it doesnt matter what the numbers are, the process is the same. My son thinks I am weird but that is ok. To Shannon, I got your reply to my last post, I look forward to hearing from you again. Are you in Ms. A's class this semester? She is a great teacher. To Ms. A, thank you for your replies and continued encouragement of my writing. Blogging is definitely a good way of expressing myself. Want to hear something funny? My 19 year old, who will go hunting by himself and all that, was hollering tonight when a walking stick got on him and started moving.  Happy writing to all and enjoy this beautiful weather, even though we really need some rain. Maybe I should do my rain dance?

A New Week

The last week has been really crazy, so I am really glad this is a new week! We had our annual state inspection last week, which meant long, stressful days and not a lot of time left over to get school work done. In fact, I may have missed an assignment in one of my classes which really bummed me out. Then I got to thinking, it was only worth 10 points, and if that is the worst thing that happens to me this semester, than I can handle it. I am glad that the inspection happened early in the semester, and not later when I am trying to test or get ready for finals.
We did fine on the inspection, which we all thought we would, but it is still glad to be done with it for the year. I have started reading a new book, "The Fire of Heaven Trilogy", by Bill Myers, which combines religion, science and the psychic all together. I am part way through the second book in the trilogy, and I can't hardly put it down! This semester, I am trying to take one day a week to not work on school and to just enjoy some down time. We finally got our central air working, as we had been using window units all summer, and just in time for the weather to cool down! Oh well, it will be nice to have next summer. Right now, I am sitting by my front door, feeling that wonderful breeze. I also can't believe that the thermometer is reading so low, but I am not complaining by any means. I love this time of year. My garden is just about done for the season. I picked some tobasco peppers today and put them up in vinegar to have with greens. Maybe next year my greens will actually grow. My tomatoes are still going, and the bell peppers but everything else is pretty much done. The good part is that I can start planning garden 2012!. I hope OTC has the plant sale again next year, so I can support the school while building my garden. Hello to The Purple English Teacher! I am glad to know you are reading my blogs and I do hope to meet you one of these days. I don't get to campus much during the week, but I am there in the NKM building on some Saturdays for lab.I hope the new school year is treating you well and that you have a great group of students to teach.

August 29, 2011

Well here it is, the second week of school and I think I am starting to get back into the routine again. Got my first few assignments done and turned in on time. There wasa some computer problems the first week, but it was on the school's end not mine for once! Today someone at work was asking me about doing classes online and I have to say I really like it. I know that it might not be the right thing for everyone but it does seem to be the right thing for me. Enough about school for now and time to move on to other subjects. My son won his football game on Friday night. It was the first time I got to go to one of the out of town games and I had a blast. It was even more fun than a home game. My unexpected guests are also now gone. Last week, the babies left the nest, but had to make a trip to the inside of the house first! That was quite an experience, as the two of them ended up between the fish tank and the sliding glass door, requiring me to get on my hands and knees, then convince them to get on my finger so I could let them out the front door. They didnt appear any worse for the wear, despite the excitement and flew as soon as they got outside. It was nice to have had them share my porch these last few weeks. I hope more decide to nest next year. I still have the hummingbirds for another month or so. I saw a picture on the news last night with a hummingbird pirched on someones finger. Now that would be really cool! I did get a picture of my baby birds in the plant, which turned out pretty good. Well, I am running out of things to say and my A&P homework is not going to do itsellf so I guess its time to go.

Starting the Semester-August 20, 2011

I started off the new semester today with a slight bump in the road. I had been checking my e-mail and blackboard and hadn't seen anything new so I thought my first chemistry lab was today. Turns out it wasnt, but another student also showed up just to be sure we didnt have lab and she gave me some good info. So a plus was getting to meet a fellow  student. I also had trouble logging into the school's wi-fi, not sure why, but its good I have my own wi-fi access. It turns out I only have to go to lab 5 times this semester, but the rest of the chemistry schedule looks pretty full. I did get started on my reading and also my intros and replies to fellow students in the class. I learned last semester that this is a great way to get to know people that you only interact with via the computer. One of my fellow students is also a first time online student and it felt good to be able to give her some encouragement in the process.
An update to my unexpected guests: Turns out the wren that built the nest in my plant not only built a nest but built a family as well. I think there are 2 babies in the nest and it is pretty cool to watch the parents bring in bugs and stuff for the little ones. Yesterday my husband had the front door open and one of the wrens flew in the house!! It stayed a couple of hours, until he lured it outside with some bread crumbs. I was at work and missed it, but he called me to tell me about it, so I was able to share the story with everyone at work. I just wish he had gotten a picture of it!
Looks like a storm headed this way, so I am going to get off the computer for now. I had to go out and buy a new mouse today, and I would hate for lightining to fry my computer and have to go out tomorrow and buy a new one of those. LOL!

Getting ready for fall August 17, 2011

Well I think I am just about ready for fall semester to start. Went school shopping yesterday and got supplies for me and my son. He is going to be a high school senior this year, and a football player also. Lucky that buying supplies gets easier as they get older. Oh yeah, we each got brand new scientific calculators!! Got chemistry lab starting this Saturday. Luckily I figured out what building to go to when I picked up my books the other day. Textbook reservation is definitely the way to go!. I hope I havent gotten too lazy being out of school these past couple of weeks. I had someone ask me the other day how many classes I was taking and I said 14 credits. They asked how I was going to do that and work full time and the only answer I can give is because I have to. I don't have the option of working less, and the only way to accomplish my goal of getting into next fall's nursing class is to follow my plan, which means a lot of classes each semester. I know it will be tough, but I am motivated and I hope nothing goes too terribly wrong. I remember that when I started LPN school, on the first day one of the instructors said that whatever can go wrong will go wrong while you are in school. I didnt believe her, but 6 weeks later I was in the hospital having emergency surgery for appendicitis!. At least I got that out of the way. Time to go and try to load my computer programs for chemistry and A&P.

Unexpected Guests-August 7, 2011

I have had a few unexpected guests at my house in the past few weeks, but they were welcome none the less. First, there was a large skink lizard running across my porch yesterday. He was quickly running toward the ivy that grows along the front of my house. I believe this may be where he is living, eating the bugs that are everywhere. Second was the walking stick I found climbing up my gutter drain. I always found them to be an interesting insect to look at. Third is the pair of trees frogs I see on my bathroom window every morning. At first it was just one large one,  and now there is also a smaller one. It is amazing how they can stick to the glass with those suction cup like feet. The final guest at my house is the small rust colored wren that has built a nest in the spider plant that is hanging on the front porch. It sits under the porch roof, so it is nice and shady there. At first I thought the leaf material I was finding had been blown in by the wind but then my husband said no it was a bird nest. I agreed with him when I went to water the plant with the water hose and this poor bird came flying out. I am not sure who was more surprised, me or the bird! I looked in the plant again the next day, and sure enough here came the wren flying out again. I have learned that if I peek in very carefully I can see if he is there or not without startling him. I am also being careful to check if he is in the nest before I water so as not to disturb him. The nest looks a bit like a cave and sits on the dirt under the plant. When I peek in, I can just see the white stripes that run horizontal across his eyes.  It looks like a very cool and restful place to spend these hot summer days, and it is protected from the worst of any rain we may get. I dont know how long he will be here, but I will leave the plant outside until I am sure he has left for the winter. My goal is to try and get a picture of him, and I will post it if I am able.

July 31, 2011

Well it has been almost a week since I posted. I have been trying to destress a bit after classes and finals and all that good stuff. I finally finished reading the book I started at the beginning of the summer, read another one and have started on a third. I think that is what I missed most of all during that crazy busy summer semester, was just finding time to read and enjoy a good story. Checked on my final grades, and they were pretty decent, though I thought I had done better on my PLS final than what I did. Oh well, the semester grade is what really counts anyway. This last week has also been a bit of a let down for me. I was so super busy all summer long, with assignments to work on and complete, and stuff due all the time, plus work and family, that when it was all over, I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I kept feeling like I should be doing something. Well, only a few short weeks until the fall semester, than time to get crazy busy all over again. I am loaded for the fall also, with algebra, nutrition, anatomy and physiology and chemistry. I have been trying to think positive about all this, like the fact that I had a total of five semesters to reach my goal, and I have completed  one, so I am 20% of the way there. Trying to be a glass half full kind of person. Also trying to stay positive about what I have harvested from my garden, and not get so disappointed about what I lost to the heat. Despite aggressive watering, it has been tough to keep it going. Luckily, I got some rain at my house yesterday. What a blessing!. Not only did it water the garden, but it dropped the temperature 20 degrees. I actually got to turn the air off for a little while. It felt so good to sit on the front porch and really enjoy being outside for a while.

July 25, 2011

I just finished the last 2 of my 3 part research worksheet and got them turned in. It turns out, they weren't too bad, and did get me thinking. I believe that the worksheets will be able to help me when I have to write research papers for future classes. Instead of just trying to think up a single question to write about, I can work up several options and then choose the one that works the best. I can also use these concepts if I am assigned a topic to write on, like how to freewrite to come up with ideas. I also finished my final draft of my What Is a Place essay, and got it submitted. That was a really good feeling and I think I did a good job on writing it. I will know for sure when I get my grades. Got finals tomorrow, so time to do a little studying, then off to bed to rest the brain cells a bit. I am going to do all three tomorrow, so it will be a long day, but it worked best for my schedule. That is one thing I liked about the online classes, was the flexibility it allowed, within the given time frames. I am already starting to get excited about next semester as well. It will be a bit more of a challenge, as I am taking four classes, but I know how to stay organized and track due dates, so it should be just fine. I will also be attending a lab at the school, so I will get to interact face to face with some of my fellow students. It will be nice to put faces together with names, since this semester was completely online. I am looking forward to the little break between semesters, and it will be nice not to have to tote around my backpack and laptop every where I go!

A Final Reflection: July 23, 2011

For me, creating a blog in the first place was a brand new experience, one of many I have had this semester. It seemed a bit strange to me to create an online journal that other students, as well as Ms. A, were going to read. I worried about what to write about, how it would sound, and if anyone else would even read it or like it. I found that I was able to use this experience to look deeper into myself and to reflect upon some of what life has brought to me through the years. At times it was hard to think of something to write about, so I appreciated having a writing prompts resource to use. I wrote down quite a number of them early on, then found that I only needed to use it a few times. Those times I did use a prompt, I found that I was able to write something relevant and intelligent. It was interesting to read and comment on what some of the other students wrote as well, though I found it frustrating to click on a blog site only to discover that the writer had not posted anything new in days. I chose not to share a lot of personal information on my site, like pictures and location and such because I just wasn't that comfortable sharing with people that I didn't really know all that well. I think the blogging exercise has been good for me as a writer, because it forced me to write something everyday, even if I didn't really want to or feel like it that day. I found that this alone could be something to write about. I might not have written a novel yet or run the whole marathon, but I have made progress in a forward direction. I think I have written at least a chapter's worth and run a few miles.  I can use this experience as a reference for future projects, to just get started and put something down and eventually what I am looking for will come out. I can use this blog to work out rough draft ideas, and use the freewriting to gain insight. Doing it on computer also means that I will be able to read what I wrote when I look at it later. My handwriting isn't terrible, but it does get messy when I get in a hurry.  I might even try using this blog site when I find myself with something to say and no one around to listen, like when I have a bad day at work or when one of my favorite patients dies and I need to express my grief. My family isn't always the best choice for this as they don't always "get it". It doesn't even matter if someone replies, it is merely a form of expression that may be very therapeutic. I kept a diary for a time as a teenager, and this is kind of like that only better. This blogging project turned out to be something that I really enjoyed in this class, even though I was a bit leery at first. My younger son will be taking this class in about another year, and I hope he also enjoys the experience.

Wrapping Things Up July 21, 2011

Week 7 of the semester, with not much left to do but get ready for finals next week. I have already arranged to take a day off, so I can take all 3 of my finals in one day and get them done instead of dragging it out all week. I have turned in all of my Algebra assignments and just finished up and turned in my last Political Science assignment. Now all that is left to do is finish up the last two research assignments, read and review the essays in my writing group, and edit and submit the final draft of my essay. I feel a bit sad that the semester is almost over because the classes I have been in have become such a part of my life. I did take time to water the garden this evening before getting started on the computer. I have become so used to coming home from work and spending 3 or 4 hours a day doing schoolwork that I have almost forgotten what life was like before school. I am looking forward to the break between semesters to give my brain a chance to relax and recharge. I might even get the chance to finally finish the book I have been trying to read all summer, and maybe read one or two more before fall semester.

July 20, 2011

Today has been a really good day. I got my political science project and worksheet done and posted. I also got my What is a Place essay completed and ready to post as soon as we get the kinks in the system worked out for posting. What a big relief, like a ton of bricks lifted off of me.I still don't care too much for elephant, but it is a much smaller piece to have to eat right now (figuratively of course, I would never knowingly eat and elephant). I actually just got done with a nice bowl of beanie weenies. I don't care too much for the weenies, but they are tolerable is you smother them in some really good beanies, though I might have to open the window in my office tomorrow if you know what I mean!! I just can't help it, I like really good baked beans. For me it is comfort food from my childhood. My mother used to make baked beans the old fashioned way, from dry navy beans and homemade sauce with brown sugar, bacon and onions. She had a special crockery pot with a metal lid that she used for cooking them. She didn't make them very often because it took over 8 hours to cook them, but it sure was worth it. My mother was a good cook and a firm believer in making everything from scratch. I remember when she would make lasagna, it seemed like she dirtied up every pot, pan and bowl in the house. She made a lot of different things, but her specialty was cookies. She made every kind of cookie known to man and had a cookie recipe for every season and holiday under the sun. I recall many a day helping to decorate the cookies with icing and sprinkles and then getting to taste test them when they were done. This lasted up until my teenage years, when she totally changed her diet to a whole foods/natural foods/vegetarian one. Not that it was a bad thing, but cookies just aren't the same without the butter and the sugar in them. I have tried to bring some of the homemade to my own family, in fact we used to make homemade butter at Thanksgiving and Christmas with whipping cream and a big mason jar when the boys were little. I thought it was fun, but them not so much. They are more of the idea that it doesnt matter what it looks like as long as it is edible and it doesn't really matter if you make it yourself or buy it in the store.
I do make a lot of homemade things for the holidays, and try to do what I feel is a traditional Thanksgiving meal of venison, if we are lucky enough to harvest a deer that year. I really think the Pilgrims and the Indians would have eaten that instead of the turkeys we cook today. However, a fresh wild turkey is quite tasty and nothing at all like the grain fed farm raised ones you buy in the store. Wow, enough about food for now.

July 19, 2011

Another late night on the computer, nearly midnight now so I am just going to write a quick blog and then off to bed. I have to get up early for work tomorrow, though I think I am actually getting used to not getting much sleep and that probably isnt a good thing. I made some really good progress on my What Is a Place essay today. Once I got some research done and actually started to write, it seemed to flow quite well. I also made good progress on project in another class, so all in  all today has been a good day. Even work went pretty good, busy but not too crazy like some days. I have been thinking and trying to decide if I want to keep blogging after the end of this class. It doesnt even bother me if no one else reads what I write, but I like the idea of having someplace to unload all the thoughts that sometimes crowd up my brain. Plus the writing practice is good as I have many more classes to go before I graduate and I am sure I will have writing to do in many of them.Well, looks like even the dogs have gone to bed, so I guess I will go now too. I hope to have another productive day tomorrow and get one step closer to being ready for finals next week.

July 18, 2011

Today I find myself really struggling for something to say. Imagine that, me at a loss for words. It seems like the last 2 weeks or so have been extremely stressful for me, which in turn makes me very emotional. I have been happy, sad, angry, depressed and apathetic. I am still struggling with my final essay topic which only adds to my stress. I think I have finally decided on a topic, but I have to see what research I can find about it. I am a little sad about this class ending, because I have really enjoyed it. Next fall my younger son will probably be going to OTC and he will have to take this class also. Isn't that funny, mother and son in college at the same time and at the same school. The only difference will be that I will graduate a year before him. Work has been really draining as well, which seems to sap my creativity. Home life has been very strained lately as well. I feel like all the frayed ends of my life are coming apart just a little bit more. Finding time to fit everything into every day has been a real challenge. I thought I was doing pretty well at it, but now I am not so sure. Maybe it is just that the stress has widened a bit the cracks that were all ready there. Sometimes I just want to not do anything, but my personal fear of failure will not allow that. I just have to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other, even if I am not going very fast. I also think that a change in the weather would really help. The garden has needed water every day, but the heat is still making my lettuce and turnips wilt a bit every day. That is a good description for how I feel right now, wilted. Well, I am going to try and work on some research now, since this blog was the only thing due by a certain time today, and I can work as late as I need to on other things.

July 17, 2011

Just got back a little while ago from the lake trip. It went pretty well, just really hot. My son's girlfriend did go with us, she seems a little shy but it is probably because she doesn't really know us yet. I remember the first time of meeting my husband's parents and feeling really nervous and a bit out of place. I just got through looking up the week 7 assignments for all my classes, so now I am feeling a bit overwhelmed again. I just need to take a deep breath and eat the elephant one bite at a time. That is an expression that my boss often uses, and that I have tried to incorporate in to my own philosophy about work and school. The only problem is that sometimes I am really sick and tired of eating elephant!! At least I am getting my blog post done early in the evening, instead of while the 10:00 o'clock news is on like I usually do. After this, I am going to finish up my last two math assignments for the class, so then I will just have English and Political Science to worry about, and studying for final exams. I may try to just take a day off that week, and do all my finals in one day, instead of dragging it out over several days. Each one gives me 2 hours to complete,  so 3 finals will be a full day. I am still struggling on a place to write about for my essay, since it has to be a place I have been, not  one that I want to go to. I guess I better get the brain percolating on that one some more tonight. I sure wish I could take a nap like my dogs are doing right now, but that just isn't an option, so I better sign off for now and get busy on other things.

Relaxing---or Not , July 16, 2011

Why is it that what is suppose to be relaxing is so often not? I tried to relax a bit this morning, even slept in a bit, all the way until 6:30am. That may not seem like sleeping in, but I am usually up at 5:00am so I did good. I decided to sit and drink coffee and watch the morning news, but then I got to stressing about everything I needed to do today. By 9:00 I was on my way to Springfield to buy supplies for our trip to the lake tomorrow.Thank god we have AC in the truck because it got hot really fast. I had several stops to make and it ended up being about 1:30 before we got home. Then I finally got around to reading one of two chapters in my political science book that were do today. I was going to make a mix CD to carry with tomorrow for the ride, but that ended up being a technical nightmare. I attempted to download 33 songs, but only 3 downloaded successfully. Then time to make dinner, and back to the homework grind. Oh yeah, and trying to get ready for the lake trip tomorrow. I am a firm believer in the fact that it is better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it, so I have a tendency to overpack. We try to get everything packed except the coolers the night before, so we have all been running around like chickens with our heads cut off. I also stress about forgetting something. Earlier this summer, I forgot to pack my husband's shorts so we had to stop at the store on the way. My biggest fear is probably forgetting to pack the meat for the cookout. It's hamburgers this time, so the patties are in the freezer as they will travel better frozen and thaw out on the way. We are taking the dogs as well, so I have to remember their food, water, leads and tie out chains. I just wish that once I could get ready for a trip without stressing so much over everything. That must be part of that fear of failure. The funny thing is that everything usually works out just fine, but the stress the night before almost isn't worth it. We always seem to get to bed late the night before as well, and we get up early and try to leave by 7:30 so we can get our favorite picnic spot in the shade. Well, I did get my homework and my test done, the kids helped to load everything but the coolers just now, so now I think I will go to bed. and try to enjoy tomorrow.

Friday July 15, 2011

It's finally Friday!!!!!! This has been a really tough week. I had a math test this week which wasnt too bad, but I had a very stressful morning the day I took it, and so I didnt get over to OTC until about noon. When I got in and sat down to take the test, I had to take a moment and a big deep breath to center myself and focus. I wish I had done a little better on it, but all things considered, I will take what I got. Work has also been really crazy this week. Had 2 coworkers on vacation, so everyone had to cover and help do the work they normally do. I had several 10 hour workdays this week, today being one of them.Then I have to come home and get busy on the computer with school work. I did make some progress on editing my I Believe essay this week, so I should be able to get it finished and turned in on time. Next will be the What is a Place essay, which may be a little harder, as the requirement is more pages. Oh well, just have to get in the groove and get to writing. Maybe I can work on it a bit tomorrow, after I do some house cleaning and a little gardening. I definitely have to water tomorrow. I really wish it would rain, but the weather forecast didnt look very promising except for the heat. I'm trying to plan a trip to the lake for Sunday for a picnic and some swimming. My younger son wants to take his new girlfriend with us. That will be a new experience. I have already laid down some ground rules, no hanky panky on my watch. My older son just wants to take his dog. He recently broke up with his girlfriend. Well, time to shut down the computer and shut down the brain for the night so I can get back at it tomorrow.

What is a Place-Freewrites July 14, 2011

Freewriting about the Appalachian Trail: I close my eyes, and take a deep sniff. I smell the first flowers of spring, beginning to bloom along the edges of the trail. I smell the floweres on the trees as they also begin to bloom. I smell a faint smell of rotting vegetation as I walk along the deeper parts of the trail as summer comes. It is the outdoors and everything becomes part of everything else. The smell of rotting vegetation is not a bad one, one I have smelled before when out in the woods. I smell a campfire, as fellow hikers prepare dinner. I smell myself as I have not had a decent shower in a week. I smell my shoes and they smell worse. I smell the coffee I have just made.
I close my eyes and open my ears and listen: I hear the birds chirping, greating each new day, and also saying goodnight as it begins to get dark. I hear the frogs calling to one another. I hear the buzz of the mosquito in my ear. I hear the snake as it slithers thru the underbrush. I hear the deer as it steps away from the trail. I hear my footsteps one after another, and the faint footsteps of others. I hear quiet conversations around campfires. I hear the rustle of tents and bedding being laid out. I hear the sound of a hatchet on wood as someone prepares a campfire. I hear the sounds of the fire itself as it comes to life. I hear the wind whistling and rustling through the leaves. I hear the sound of rain on the forest canopy and on my hat. When its quiet, I think I hear God.
I see beauty all around me, every shade of green I can imagine. I see colors, textures, the clouds against the blue sky. I see stars I have never seen before. I see the moon as it grows then wanes. I see the trails themselves, and I can imagine the people who helped to create them. I see red and orange and pink in the sunrise and the sunset. I see the colors of the rainbow after a summer storm. I see faint flakes of snow from an early cold front on the northern end of the trail.
I feel tired, I am cold and I am hot. I feel the wonder of being alone in the woods. I feel a faint hint of fear, as I know people have been hurt and killed on this trail. I feel a connection with fellow hikers, new ones and those who have traveled this way before. I feel strong, independent and alone. I feel powerful, and I feel humbled. I feel a connection with nature and with the Creator. I feel I can do anything.

July 13, 2011

I don't really know what to write about tonight, so I guess I will start prewriting for my next essay on Places. I am trying hard to think of a list of places that I might want to write about, and that I can have enough of a connection to that will allow me to write for four to five pages. My own family is a bit scattered and disjointed right know, so there isn't a place where we go for family reunions. I can't recall a conversation with a friend that was deep enough and important enough to remember where it happened. I can't recall any particularly traumatic events, other than falling in a hole in the neighbor's yard when I was about six. It wasn't an extremely deep hole, but I remember being stuck and my parents having to help me get out. I also got a small cut on the back of my head and had to wear my hair in pigtails for a little while until it healed. I know my parents got married in a church in Chicago, and that they went to Niagra Falls on their honeymoon. I have never been there myself, but I certainly would like to visit it. The views I have seen on TV are truly amazing. We first moved to Springfield when I was 8, and the deal on the house we were supposed to move into fell through so we ended up staying at the KOA campground for a month until my parents found another house. The interesting thing about that, is that several years ago, we were in between houses, waiting on one to be ready and our lease was up on the other one, and it was summer, so me, my husband, our 2 boys and the dogs spent a month living at the same KOA campground, except we were in tents and when I was a kid we had a pop up camper. The kids loved it though, with going swimming every day, and fun activities like watermelon and ice cream every night. We had an electric site so we had TV, radio, coffee pot and all the luxuries of home. There are many historic sites I would love to go see, especially those related to the founding of this country. The more I learn about the history of the United States and its government, the more I want to see for myself where some of these historic acts took place. I am running out of places to think about and write about, so I guess I will call it a night. It's pretty late and my brain doesn't work so good when I'm really tired. Hopefully I will have more to think and write about tomorrow.

When Did I Become a Realist? July 12, 2011

When did I become a realist? This is a question I have thought on for a while, and I think I have finally come up with an answer. As you know, I am a nurse and I work in the long term care industry, which brings with it a unique perspective on life and what happens when things don't work so well anymore. When I first got into nursing, I truly believed I could save the world. I used to read the latest nursing magazines about new procedures, equipment, medicines and the like. I was going to make a difference and everyone was going to go home a healthy person. I was going to save everyone! I learned CPR and thought it meant that I could save a life and everything would be fine in the end. I thought everyone should be a full code, with everything possible being done to preserve and continue life. Then one day after working in long term care, I realized that there are things in life much worse than death and that the journey to death could be one of peace and serenity, comfort and dignity. I realized that life at all costs wasn't really a life at all. One day, I got a patient who had suffered an acute, life threatening brain injury. She had a living will, and her sisters chose to honor her requests. This patient did not want to be kept alive by artificial nutrition and hydration( a feeding tube). At first, I thought this was horrible, that this person was going to starve to death if something wasn't done. The patient was nearly comatose, with little response to anything. She lived for about a week, and never appeared to be in any pain or distress. She died quietly and peacefully, with her sisters by her side. It was then that I first realized that death was not the worst thing that could happen, that death is part of life and that we all have our time to die. I have also seen what happens when life is preserved at all costs, and trust me it usually isn't pretty and neat like all the TV shows would have you believe. There is little dignity in having to depend on someone for every thing you need done, because your body doesn't work anymore. There is little dignity in fighting infection after infection, each one worse than the last, until one day the antibiotics don't work at all anymore. There is little dignity in not recognizing yourself or your family or your spouse of 60 years. There is no dignity in going through a fresh grieving process over and over, because you forgot your spouse died until someone reminds you.  I strive every day to provide a life for my patients that allows them whatever dignity, self worth and self purpose they still may have. I try to make people laugh, or at least smile. I freely dispense hugs, because sometimes the human touch is more powerful than any medicine made by man. I share in the simple joys of good food, good weather and the antics of squirrels on birdfeeders. I have learned to agree with your reality instead of conforming you to mine. I have learned the value of time well spent, of living day to day, and realizing that one day, tomorrow will never come.

July 11, 2011 The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Hard to believe that the summer semester is almost over! Just this week and next, then finals. No rest for the wicked or the weary though, plenty of work still to do before it's done. I worked on my political science assignment for quite a while this evening, so it is late as I make this post. I am glad that I did not decide on a career in law. I mean, arguing is fun I suppose, especially if you think you are right, but all the legal writing and twisted, convoluted language just puts me to sleep. Law is a whole lot more boring and a whole lot less Matlock than you would believe. Oh well, got it done and that's what counts. I kind of had fun doing it too, though I am glad it's over. Still got to work on revising one essay, writing another, and some reading to do. I guess that will have to wait until tomorrow. That way I can percolate some more ideas in my brain. I find that percolating the ideas makes them richer and fuller. Like when I use my stove top camping coffee percolator instead of the electric automatic drip maker (mainly because my son broke the pot and I haven't had time to go by another one). When you percolate coffee, you do a get a richer, fuller tasting cup, even if you are using inexpensive coffee. When you use the automatic drip maker, you get a decent cup but nothing to write home about unless you use really good coffee. So I hope to have richer, fuller thoughts by the time I commit them to paper, or in this case the screen of my computer. I think the heat outside and the lack of sleep are combining to turn my brain into mush because I am running out of things to write about. I hope my brain isn't too mushy tomorrow, because I have a math test to take. At least it is air conditioned inside the OTC campus. It was even hot in the shade today, especially when the breeze quit. Maybe we will all get lucky and get some rain in the next day or so. Rain is a good thing!

Being Outdoors July 10, 2011

Why do I feel such a connection to the great outdoors? I have thought about this for a while (not procrastinating, just percolating ideas in the brain) and I have yet to come up with a single answer. I remember as a kid, that we used to go walking alot, so I suppose that is part of it. Also, there was a small creek not far from my house and I used to go there, just to see what I could see. I recall finding turtles and frogs and crawdads, but it wasn't just about finding critters. When I was there by myself, I felt a sense of peace and belonging. I still feel that way today, when I am surrounded by nature. I look up at towering trees and I just know that this is where I need to be. The colors, patterns and textures of nature never cease to amaze me. I have learned to look for the little details and remember them always. For a while we lived  in Florida, where there is a grasshopper that looks like something prehistoric. It is twice the size of the ones here, and very colorful. It heard it is called a Georgia thumper, probably because it thumps when it lands. I recall seeing the web of a large, multicolored garden spider glistening with the morning dew. I am not the  biggest fan of spiders, but this one was truly beautiful. I have taken pictures of the frost sparkling on grass and tree branches in the early morning light, while waiting for that ever elusive deer to show up. I know the ice storm of 2007 did a lot of damage and affected a lot of people's lives, mine included. But some of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen were of this storm. Nature can be very destructive, but always seems to leave something beautiful behind. I truly enjoy living in the Missouri  Ozarks, but I would also like to travel the country and perhaps the world to see all the wonders of nature.

July 9, 2011

What a day today has been. I decided to take a little break from schoolwork today, even though I knew I had some assignments due. I figured I could get some things done and work on my school stuff later. So after breakfast, I went out and weeded my garden which was in desperate need of my attention. It looked much better when I got done with it. I think I even heard the plants say thank you and they seemed to stretch a bit with all the extra space. Next came the inside of the house, which also was begging for some help. I got to work on cleaning, sweeping and laundry.Doesn't this sound like everyone's idea of a fun day off? While doing this, my husband and son got on the computer to check out some new phones. By the time I was done with the house and they were done on the computer, it was time to charge the computer and my wireless device, so I decided to do a math homework assignment and then a little reading. I have been working my way through Tom Clancy's "Dead or Alive". Normally, I would have finished it in a weekend or two, but I started it right when school started so it is taking me a while. By now it was getting really hot out, so we decided to load up the dogs and take them down to the river to cool off with a little bit of swimming around, chasing after sticks I throw endlessly into the water. They never seem to tire of this. Stopped at the store on the way home to pick up a few things to go with dinner, then home to fix and eat dinner. Now my older son was home from work and wanted to look at the phones also, and then my husband was trying to figure out how to download music. Finally, about 8 o'clock I got on the computer to finish up my English and Political Science homework for the week. That started with a minor meltdown when I realized I had posted my Writers Workbench response as a blog posting instead of a discussion board posting!!!! Here comes that fear of failure again. Finally, I got my focus back and began doing what I needed to do. Now here it is almost 11:30 at night, and I am trying to finish this post and go to bed.I  have already looked ahead to get a handle on what I have to do for Political Science next week, jotting notes, sending e-mail and marking due dates on the calendar. Oh yeah, got a math test next week to study for as well. Only two more weeks of class and then it's finals week. I can't wait for this semester to be over with! I have learned a lot, but it has been really intense. I have a big corporate inspection coming the first week of August, then I hope to take a few days off and really just enjoy doing nothing. Maybe I can finish my book and start a new one. I have got to take a bit to recharge, because before I know it, the fall semester will be starting and I am taking a full load of classes and my son will have football games every Friday night. Got to go to those as he will be a senior this year. Where has all the time gone? One out of school and one going to be soon. Wow.

Response to Writers Workbench July 8, 2011

I finally made it through the entire Writers Workbench. I won't lie and say that I read every word on every page, but I did at least skim through all and did actually read a good portion of it. In some ways, it was like an entire English Lit class in 2 hours.I have always enjoyed reading, but one of the things I hated most about English Lit was breaking down the story into tiny little bits and analyzing everything. I just wanted to read the story! I remember in high school having my teacher fuss at me because I answered a question based on something I had read ahead on. We read books, but only so many pages at a time. That is what I truly did not like about the Writers Workbench, the way it broke everything down into little tiny bits. I do understand and appreciate the purpose behind it though. I did take notes along the way, jotting down things I thought would help me in my own writing. I would like to try writing a blog based on defamiliarization, just to see what it is like. That part sounded like fun. I also learned from the portions on understating the serious and exaggerating the less serious. This seems more to relate to news articles, but could apply to other writing as well. I may try looking in the phone book tomorrow to find interesting names. I have heard about writers doing that. There are also many towns throughout the US with interesting names that could become backdrops for stories. Writing cinematically; now there is something I think I can do. I like to use descriptive words so this is right up my alley. I also learned from writing a mission statement. My employer has a mission statement that we focus on frequently to remind us of why we are there. Perhaps that would help to direct my writing. I also do not procrastinate on writing, I just keep rehearsing it in my head until I am ready to commit it to writing, usually very near the deadline. I much prefer going over it internally to writing and rewriting draft after draft. I did enjoy Journalism classes I took  in high school, and wonder if that isn't more my writing style than say fiction writing. I probably would not have done the workshop had it not been an assignment, but I do try to take every opportunity to learn. I did like the way the author of the course used a variety of writing examples, both from the past and present day. I was able to relate more to the recent writings than to such works as "The Great Gatsby". I also figured out why I enjoy some books more than others. I have read several books, that when I got to the end, I said "that's it? Where is the rest of the story?" Writing really is a lot of work, but as he said, if you write a little every day you will have a book by the end of the year. I really liked the analogy of running a marathon by doing a half mile a day for 52 days.Even I can do that. Oh yeah, we are doing that by writing a journal a day for 3 weeks. I will attempt to use what I have learned in the workshop to improve my writing and to make intelligent comments on the writings of my fellow students as I continue to read blogs and essays. One last thing, and I mean no offense, but I am really glad that my major is nursing and not English! I'm sure that some of my fellow students are probably just as glad their major isn't nursing!

Day 9 Journal July 7, 2011 What am I afraid of?

I was having trouble thinking of something to write about today. It has been a long week with a lot of writing to do, both in this class and in another class, so my brain is a bit numb at this point. I decided to look at some of the suggestions that I jotted down from the Daily Journal Prompts and one in particular caught my eye, that being "What am I afraid of?"  I bet you think I am going to write about something like spiders or dogs or clowns or something like that. Guess again. I am really not afraid of many things at all except one. What I am truly most afraid of is Failure. I am afraid of being a failure in school, a failure as a nurse, a failure as wife, a failure as a mother and a failure as a member of society. I don't know where this fear of failure comes from exactly or why it exists in my psyche. It seems that early in my school years, learning came easy to me, so I got pretty good grades without having to work at it very hard. But then, it became expected of me to continue those grades, and I became afraid to fail. Being afraid of failure has caused me to work very hard and give 110% to anything I do, because in my mind, anything less is failure. It has made me place high expectations on myself that I sometimes have to struggle to live up to. I find myself taking on extra responsibilities at work to prove myself, then I have trouble asking for help, because in my head, asking for help is failing to do the job myself. I am endlessly checking out the deadlines for class assignments to be sure they are turned in on time or even early, because anything less is failure.  I also check my grades at least once or twice a week to be sure that I am still maintaining and not failing.  Not that I am anywhere near failing, but who says that fears have to make sense? I stress during corporate and state surveys because I am afraid that something I have done or not done will negatively affect our scores, despite the fact that we consistently do well at these. I tend to take any failure personally, even those of my children. If they do poorly in a class, I feel it is my failure as a parent to set proper standards and give proper assistance. I am trying to learn to overcome this, and to use those stumbling blocks we all run up against as learning opportunities. I am trying to learn that I can only be responsible for myself and my actions and not those of others. I don't know if I will ever get over this fear, but perhaps I can learn to manage it and use it to my advantage. Striving for perfection does have some advantages, don't you think?

Day 8 Journal, July 6, 2011

Just got my I Believe essay done and posted. What a relief to have that finally done.  It was definitely a challenge, way harder than just doing these journal blogs. I did finally figure out a way to make the MLA format work, though maybe not the way it is really supposed to be done. I even had to ask my 16 year old for help. He thinks it's funny to have to help me. Oh well, learning is learning no matter who the teacher is. So today I am going to write a bit about Facebook. I do not personally have a Facebook account and probably never will. It is just not my thing. I can see how it can have its place. For families that don't live close together, I think it could be a wonderful way of keeping in touch. Especially if you can limit who has access to what you post and what pictures can be seen. I wouldnt want total strangers to be able to see pictures of me and my family. Too many weirdos and perverts out there for that. For our military families, this can also be a great tool for maintaining contact. Teenagers also love Facebook. Of course, they are extremely focused on themselves and what all their friends are doing. In my day, you just tied up the phone line if you were lucky enough to have your own phone line. Now they text all day long and Facebook the really important stuff, like what they are doing every minute of the day. I do think that a lot of what is posted is a bunch of bologna by people who think they are way more important than they really are. Here is something I find really funny. My brother in law and his wife both have seperate Facebook accounts. They will frequently post things to each other on the other ones account. The really funny part about this is that while they are Facebooking each other they are sitting in the same room!. I think that speaks volumes about what all this technology has done to basic interpersonal communication  skills. People  in the same room communicating via electronic device instead of just talking. I also don't get this whole thing about friending everybody and Liking everyone. How can be a friend of someone or like someone you dont even know? It has also become the latest slick advertising tool. Every company out there now seems to have a site on Facebook. I guess I'm just a bit old fashioned that way. Oh well. to each his own. Time  to go, running out of words to say after writing that essay.

Day 7 Journal, July 5, 2011

It is hard to believe that I have been writing every day for a week. Only three more weeks to go! This has been a fun and challenging experience as I learn to express myself better. I am also getting to know my classmates better through reading their blog entries. One entry I read really surprised me because the person sounded almost angry at having to do the work. I know that everyone is busy, busy, busy, but I find that taking the ten or fifteen minutes a day to write really helps me to focus my thoughts. It also challenges my brain to keep coming up with new things to write about. I really need to get finished up on my "I Believe" essay since it is due tomorrow. At first I thought that a two to three page essay was an insurmountable challenge, rather like climbing a mountain. However, when I really stop to think about it, it really isnt going to be so bad. I have to do writing in another class I am taking and sometimes I surprise myself in just how wordy I can get. Writing is kind of like owning an old car. It may take a bit to get it started, but once you do it just keeps going and going and going. I have even thought about continuing to do journal entries after this class is over. Maybe not everyday but at least once a week would be good. Ms. A is right, good writing takes practice. Since I have many more classes to take, I am sure I will have many more essays and such to write so I should keep my skills up. I even find myself thinking throughout the day about what I am going to write about that night. Now the next challenge is to decide which of my entries I want to submit to Ms. A as my favorite for the week. I was a bit worried that this week would be overwhelming with all the writing, but I am trying to take it one day at a time. Having a well organized week with everything on my calendar has been a lifesaver. I might try doing some spreadsheets next semester and see if that works any better. The squares on my calendar are only so big, so I have to squish a lot of stuff into a small space. Maybe a seperate calendar grid for each class would be better. Either that, or I need a really big dry erase board to track everything. There is a certain amount of satisfaction in being able to mark assignments off as I get them done. I just have to be careful not to mark out something that isnt done yet. And if I dont write them all down to start, I will miss something. I am really glad that I took on the challenge of online classes this semester. It was a different experience than a seated class, but I have gained a tremendous amount of confidence in myself as I take on and succeed with each new assignment. Now my son is standing over my shoulder, reading what I have written and offering some "helpful" advice. In reality, he is just waiting for me to get done so he can use the computer to Facebook. Now there is something to write about. That unique social experience of Facebook with all its pros and cons and what does it really say about the people who use it? Yeah, I think I will save that for another day and sign off for tonight. Got to get some sleep so I can have some fresh brain cells for tomorrow.

Day 6 Journal July 4, 2011

Well here it is , the Fourth of July, Independence Day, Birthday of our Nation. Many different names to describe today. As I sit to write this, the Macy's fireworks display is showing on TV. Wow! Is that ever a spectacular show. I change the channel and get to watch to fireworks in Boston. Somehow that seems more appropriate as Boston was the birthplace of the nation. I also went on Saturday to watch our local fireworks with my family. Earlier, I watched as my boys shot of fireworks in our front yard.  As I watch these beautiful, colorful displays light up the night sky and listen to the patriotic music, I find myself reflecting on what today really means for all of us. The explosions and noise to symbolize the weapons shot in war in defense of our freedom. Those same weapons continue to be shot today by our brave men and women in uniform. At one time, I thought about joining up, but I was young, with a GED not a high school diploma and they didn't want me then without at least some college education. Then came the Gulf War, but I was soon to have a child, so it was not an option then either. Then came 911, and I again considered military service, but not sure if I could leave my family. Selfish of me I know, when so many have given so much in defense of our nation. Now that my children are nearly grown I am too old to join. I did by a new flag today to hang on my front porch and it makes me remember what this country means.We are all lucky to live in this country, despite whatever faults it may have. I can sit here and express my opinions and thoughts and ideas freely, without worrying that  I may get turned in to the authorities, or that I may get arrested in the middle of the night for criticizing our government leaders. I have the same right to vote as everyone else, even if I choose not to use it, which is also my right. I have the right to disagree with others. For instance, I disagree with the church that protests at funerals of military personnel for what I believe to be a ridiculous reason. But that same freedom of speech applies to all, even those with an unpopular point of view. I must keep that in mind, or there is no freedom of speech. I have the right to travel freely throughout the country, to any place I choose without being worried about borders and travel papers, or getting arrested because of where I wish to travel. I have the right to gather freely with others, again without worry of government interference. I know there are government conspiracy theories, and secret CIA files on people, but I am trying to keep this a glass half full kind of day. My children received a free education through the public school system as did myself and their dad. If there are failings in that system, than it is up to us as citizens to correct those problems. I was able to receive free money from the federal government to further my own education here at OTC. I am free to study whatever I want and to hold any job I am qualified for. If I dont like what my government officials are doing, I am free to tell them that. I am also free to run for any public office I choose, including that of President. I have a military of volunteers that will give their lives to defend these freedoms and the land upon which we all live. I also believe that with these rights come responsibility. The responsibility to have respect for all the citizens of this great country, those born here and those who came here looking for a better life. I have the responsibility to help my fellow man as I am able, through kindness, generosity and volunteering as I am able. I have the responsibility to provide care to the aging members of our society and to always treat them with the kindness, dignity and respect that they deserve. I also have the responsibility, if I choose to travel outside this country, to demonstrate the good things our country represents and not to be an ugly American. To always show respect for others and their way of life and to always try to learn something from others. After all, this country was founded by immigrants and it is that variety of customs and ideas that makes us who we are today. God Bless America!

Day 5 Journal

Today, as I sit down to write, it is beginning to storm outside. The rain is coming down in buckets, lightning is flashing brightly in the dark sky and the thunder is crashing loudly. I love a good rainstorm and when I am done with my journal, I am going to go sit on my front porch and enjoy it! My garden is certainly appreciative of the water, though it may be just a little too much all at once. Last night it also stormed and this morning I had to set some of my tomatoe plants back up. My pepper plants really liked it, they are standing straight and tall with lots of little peppers visible. I have picked one small one so far, and I cant wait for the rest to be ready. I know that the watermelons really like the rain. I have quite a few of those as well, with the largest ones being the size of softballs. I cant wait until they are ready! There is nothing in the world like a fresh watermelon. Yesterday, I sent my son out to the garden to pick "a" cucumber if one was ripe, and he returned with a large bowl full of them! I think that there were about 8 of them all together. Luckily a friend had stopped by about that time, so I sent several of them home with her. I am beginning to worry about my tomatoes a bit. It seems that the Japanese beetles have finally found the garden and have begun to munch their way through the tomatoes. Now I dont mind sharing with the bugs a little because they have to eat too, but these beetles are like the houseguest that raids your refridgerator in the middle in the night and leaves you with nothing to eat the next day! I dont think I have ever met such a destructive bug. I thought about some traps, but I have heard that they just attract more bugs, so I will take my chances with a little sevin dust. I had hoped to avoid any chemicals in my garden, but if I dont do something, I won't have any garden at all. I had hoped to have ripe tomatoes for my July 4th cookout, but all I have are green ones. I even bought a variety called "Early Girl" thinking they would be ready early, but no such luck. I have picked a few zucchini, and one yellow squash as well as a bunch of lettuce. I even tried something new, and grilled one of the zucchini! Taste of perfection. I passed a church today while driving that had a garden that was easily four times the size of mine( mine is 20x30), and there was a sign posted at the local convenience store that the church was giving away fresh vegetables to any one who wanted them or could use them. To me, that is what gardening is all about. Feeding yourselves and feeding others. It also demonstrated to me what I believe is the Christian way. I know that a lot of people must have put in a lot of work to make it happen. I know that my own garden took many hours of time to prepare and maintain. This group of people did it for the good of the citizens of the community, without regard for the time and energy needed. They did it just because it is the right thing to do. I hope to be able to donate some of my harvest to the community center that is just down the road from my house. They provide clothing and household goods free of charge to anyone in the community who needs it. My harvest can be my way of giving back to my community and helping out someone I will never meet. The idea of my harvest providing a meal on someone elses table nearly moves me to tears. I hope that the beetles find something else to munch on besides my vegetables! Maybe next year I can find a better way to get rid of them besides insectacide. I will have to do some research on organic gardening. There has to be a good bug out there that likes to eat Japanese beetles and wont eat my garden. Looks like the rain is about over now. but it sure did come down hard there for a bit. Still thundering and lightening though. Its almost like mother nature decided to put on her own fireworks display. Just in time for the Fourth of July. I have the scanner on and it sounds like a few places are flooded from all the rain. I hope all the drivers out there use a bit of common sense and dont try to drive through the floods. It seems like every time, someone thinks they can drive through a flooded road and then the local fire department has to do a water rescue. I seem to be running out of things to write about tonight. Didn't get much sleep tonight and got  up early this morning to take the family to the lake. Now that was fun! We even took all 3 dogs with us and they had a blast. They got to chase sticks, tennis balls, and a frisbee. They must have been swimming for about 2 hours all together. Even the Jack Russell likes to go swimming. They were so tired when we got done that all three of them slept the whole way home and then for about 2 more hours after we got home. One of the dogs is an aging black Lab, who is about 14 years old now. But to see her jumping through the water and swimming for hours, you would never guess she was that old. Her grey hair on her chin does give it away, as well as the fact that her teeth are wearing down but she is still a puppy at heart. Sometimes her hips bother her, especially in the winter, so the swimming is really good exercise for her. The third dog is a Golden Retriever who is about 5 now. He tends to be a stick hog  in the water, not letting the other dogs have it and sometimes, if you throw two sticks in the water, he will grab both of them! He has also figured out that the best place to lay when it's hot is right in front of the fan. Good thing I dont have central air or he would probably lay on top of the vent and block all the air from everyone else. Okay, now I really am out of things to write about for tonight. I hope to have more to say tomorrow.

Day 4 Journal

So today I was having trouble thinking of something to write about, so I chose one of the journal prompts I found on Ms A's Classroom. Today I will write my response to the question "Is plastic surgery an option and what body part would I chose to replace?" What a loaded question! I have spent the last 42 years trying to learn to accept myself as who I am, faults, wrinkles, grey hair and all. And now the question is would I change that? It is my personal belief that plastic surgery is a waste of time and money, and that it clogs up our  healthcare system with people not in need of true healthcare. Add to that the fact that surgery, any surgery, even a "minor" one is still a dangerous procedure. Things can and do go wrong in surgery every day, many times just as a result of immobility and anesthesia and not as the result of someone doing something wrong. But those things that do go wrong just add to the care that one needs.With the growing number of drug resistant infections that require ever stronger antibiotics, why would someone want to put themselves in the position of possibly getting one of those infections by going through a surgical procedure that isnt necessary? All in the name of that "beauty ideal" that some advertising/ Hollywood company has developed? Not to say that I havent tried coloring my hair (now I just let my natural platinum highlights show) or that I dont wear makeup (I do). I just try to make the me I have be as good as it can be. Good health, good eating habits, and regular exercise can go much farther than any plastic surgery ever thought about. Besides, if we all go under the knife to look like someone else's ideal, then we all look alike and what will happen to our own individuality? It would be like in one of my favorite books from childhood "Sneaches on Beaches". The Sneaches all wanted to look different from the other ones, yet in the end, they realized that what is on the inside is far more important than what is on the outside. I also think that if I was meant to have plastic and silicone in my body, I would have been born that way.Wrinkles and grey hair and stretch marks and the like are testimony to life and childbearing and child raising. Oh and to going back to school which definitely added a few more greys to the top. I feel that accepting myself for who I am makes me more of an individual and teaches me things that plastic surgery will just cover up.  I also wonder about people who get Botox injections. Do they realize that Botox is made from botulism and that botulism can make you really sick and even kill you? That along with a whole crop of poorly trained people doing it is a really scary prospect. I would prefer only medical personnel with proper training put needles in me and I will leave the botulism to someone else. Besides, I like to be able to blink my eyes and wrinkle up my brow when I am thinking. I dont want to be a person afraid to show emotion because it might cause a wrinkle. There is a song lyric that states "she's pure, flesh and bone, no tucks or silicone". Thats who I want to be.

Freewrite Responses to the "I Believe" Essays

I found that A Grown Up Barbie and Leave the Identity Issues to Other Folks to really be similar in theme. Both spoke to identities that we learn in childhood and how those identities effect us as we grow in to adulthood. I too wanted to be Barbie, and like Jane, I looked nothing like her. It didn't take long to figure out either that I never would. As an adult, I look back and I am glad that I am an individual, not a carbon copy of something else. Phyllis spoke of labels that are attached to us and how only maturity allows us to throw those labels away and be who we really are. It reminds me of the poem, When I am Old, I Shall Wear Purple. It speaks of an older woman wearing a bright purple outfit just because she can get away with it. She feels this way, because she thinks that at her age, she has earned the right to be who she wants to be. By the way, that poem is also the basis behind the Red Hat Society, a group of older women who wear red hats and bright purple outfits and get together to socialize  with other older ladies. I want to wear a red hat someday. I really liked reading Shitty First Drafts, because it reminds me that however good the finished product, there was a process behind it that involves many not  so good products. It gives you the right to make mistakes and to keep trying and to be able to pick and choose the best out of everything you do. Final drafts are only a reflection of the entire writing process, which is what I am beginning to learn through all this writing we are doing. I will have to keep this essay in mind as I write my own. To start early, and just keep writing and then pull together the final product from the best of everything. Be Nice to the Pizza Dude  was a lesson in humanity and humility. Just because the job you do may be low on the totem pole of life, doesnt diminish you as a person. I look at it like this, the pizza dude is performing a service that helps me, and they are being a productive member of society, and maybe the pizza dude will be president some day, or develop a cure for cancer, or facilitate world peace, or just learn good work ethics that he passes down to his children..I did disagree with Always Go to the Funeral. It is my personal belief that visitations are the time for giving condolences and showing your support for the family. I believe that funerals are a time of final goodbyes for those closest to the deceased, like family and very close friends. I found the concept of always going to a funeral to be a bit creepy.

My Personal Credo

1. It is my belief that how someone looks on the outside is not necessarily a reflection of who they are on the inside. I was picked on as a child for the way I looked which made forming relationships with others difficult. I believe that how one looks is mainly superficial and it is how one acts toward self and others that is important.  Along with this, I tend to believe in people as good and decent until proven otherwise.
2. I believe in spending time with family, especially with my children as they grow into adults. I also feel that spending time alone is vital to learn who you really are and to give yourself a chance to recharge. It is hard to care for someone else if you dont also care for yourself.
3. I believe in spending time outdoors, with fishing being one of my favorite activities. Fishing allows me to spend time with my family on a neutral ground and it can lead to  many discussions about life in a nonthreatening way. Fishing can be about catching trophies, feeding the family, or just about spending time drowning worms.
4. I believe that being self sufficient makes me a better person, but also creates difficulty in asking for help. I think that self sufficiency breeds survivabilty. I know that myself and my kids can live through any situation this world may offer because we can take care of ourselves.
5. I believe in gardening as a way to feed body and soul. It fulfills many needs including exercise, communing with nature/ my higher power, and provides me with the opportunity to demonstrate generosity to others as I share my harvest. I feel like I must be surrounded by nature, grass, trees, animals and not concrete and steel in order for my soul to flourish.

Journal Day 3, July 1, 2011

Wow, here it is the first day of July, which means the year is officially half over. Tomorrow, the summer semester will be officially half over. I think I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.It seems a bit dim at the moment, but I think it is just because I am tired. Today has been a busy day of reading and writing and writing and writing. I think I am about out of words to write. Of course, this is like freewriting and so it is ok to write that I am running out of things to write. Speaking of freewriting, I think that as a true writing exercise, it should be done with pen/pencil and paper and not with the aid of this wonderful device called a computer. The reason I think this is that freewriting is supposed to be about writing, not editing, not rethinking, not redoing, just writing. However, it is so easy on the computer to hit the backspace  button and eliminate a thought you don't like or want to have seen by others. Then there is the matter of those pesky little red squiggly lines that remind you when you have spelled a word incorrectly. I almost cannot seem to stop myself from going back a space when I see that line and correcting it. See there I go again. I am a fairly decent typist, but not a perfect one. I don't really correct my thoughts that much, just my spelling. I hate to see the squiggly little red lines. That and sometimes my fingers dont do what my brain tells them to do and I hit the wrong key. I have noticed that I tend to speak out loud when I write, though I do it quietly so as not to disturb  my family when I am working. Does anybody else do that? It seems to help me focus my thoughts a little better when I am writing. I also talk with my hands which is kind of hard to do when you are typing with both hands! I even find myself doing it when I talk on the phone, like I think the person on the other end can see what I am doing. Just a few little personality quirks I guess. It could be a lot worse than that.Oh no, I havent quite reached the bottom of the page and I am at a loss as to what to say. I think my brain just suffered a temporary shutdown, or like my computer says, I am currently offline and cant display that page. I also find myself a bit distracted at times by life going on around me. Sometimes I just use half of my brain to type while the other half tries to listen to what someone in the family is trying to tell me. Still working on the whole balancing act. I did get the Know Your Audience post done, of that I was glad. It was a fun assignment, and I learned a lot about my fellow students. Star Wars is currently playing on the TV,so I am trying to hurry up and finish writing so I can watch it. Somehow, it never seems to get old, no matter how many times I watch it. The actors do seem a lot younger in it, or maybe they look a lot older now, or maybe both. I still think of myself as young, but the person I see in the silver box every morning has way more grey hair than me. Oh wait, I think that is me. But I dont have grey hair, I have natural platinum highlights free of charge from mother nature. I guess that is the glass half full side of my personality. I have earned every one of those grey, no platinum hairs. I just dont need too many of them. Highlights is just fine. Now my internet connection is looking a bit foggy, guess it is tired too. I just hope it keeps on for a few more minutes so I can save this post without having to redo it. I would hate to have to try to think of another 300 words to say.OK, looks like I am back online again. I still remember when the biggest problem I had to worry about was my pen running out of ink or trying to find a pencil sharpener when I broke the lead. I guess I really am showing my age today. Well I am going to try and get some sleep, then get back at it tomorrow. Lots more work to do and only so many hours in a day to do it. Maybe I should give up sleeping, that would add a few more hours, but I probably still wouldn't get it all done. I'm going to call it quits as I seem to be rambling tonight. May the force be with you. Wow, I seem to be showing my nerdiness as well as my age tonight. Oh well, it is a journal entry after all and not the next great American novel. I will leave the writing of that one up to someone else.

Knowing My Audience

This was a fun and interesting take on the typical 20 questions game. It also came with the unique perspective of being an online class, so there was not that personal, face to face interaction that adds to what we know about our audience.Reading only without nonverbal cues like tone of voice and facial expressions was quite and experience.  In a way, it is like a radio announcer getting to know their audience without ever seeing them. I do believe my audience is made up of a wide range of ages, backgrounds, and vocations. However, what most surprised me was how similar we really all seem to be to one another. For example, when asked about what TV show we wanted to be in and what time period we wanted to live in, a majority of us chose some time in the past. Reasoning for this was repeatedly that we wanted to live in a simpler time, when family values were cherished and life seemed easier. What does that say about the time we live in now? Very few said they wanted to live right here and now. We are also a group with strong family values, as evidenced by the fact that many people referred to family that has passed on as the one they most wanted to see. Also, most of the pasttime activities revolved around doing things with family. There were a few introverts who wanted to spend time alone, myself being one of them.We also tend to like dogs more than cats, perhaps because dogs interact more than cats. We are also about 50/50 split on which road we would take, the cleared stone path or the tangled, winding road. I guess that means that some like a challenge in life while others focus more on where we are going than in how we get there. All of our quotes speak to moving forward and none of us said we were already grown up and doing what we wanted to do. So we all continue to dream and think about the future.  Most of us want to help our fellow man, donate to charity and figure out how to keep bad things from happening  to good people so I guess we are a pretty good group of people after all. We seem to have similar values and ideas on life. No one asked any controversial question, so perhaps we don't like conflict over all. Most of us gave answers of some length and depth, but a few gave very short, direct answers. I feel this to be a reflection of individual personality and I would probably notice these same things in a seated class with verbal interaction. I also appreciated the honesty of the person who preferred a potbelly pig to dogs or cats, as well as the person who answered that they don't ever want to be a doctor no matter what. I think that sometimes people give the answer they think that other people want to hear instead of the true answer to avoid conflict and confrontation.However, it is entirely possible that we are just a good nature, easygoing bunch of students. I think that because we all seem to think in a similar matter, that writing for this audience will be much like writing for ourselves. I was a bit surprise though to see that only one person wanted to meet with Jesus and no one said they wanted to meet with God. Perhaps this just demonstrates the reverence  for religion common to this bible belt area we live in. I have enjoyed interacting with my fellow students, and have found one or two to be extremely helpful in the Burning Questions discussion board. It is nice to know that a completely online class can still have the personal interaction of a seated one. I do feel like this assignment helped me to know my fellow students better and I enjoyed reading all the question, answering them, and then seeing the other responses. Personalities definitely began to show through with varied writing styles.

Journal Day 2, June 30, 2011

So today I am going to talk about my journey to nursing school and how I got to be here today. I guess that I always wanted to be a nurse from the time I was a little girl. I remember reading the Clara Barton book series which described what I would now call "old school nursing", where nurses went with doctors to patient's homes to see them and surgery was not the modern medical technology of today. It was really more just about taking care of patients. I have always respected the nursing profession and couldn't wait to go to nursing school. Well, except for brief moments of wanting to be a doctor or a veternarian. I even remember when the St Johns School of Nursing was located at the hospital and thinking that someday I would get to go and wear that white uniform and nurse's cap. Ha! That was before I actually had to wear a nurse's cap and realized what a pain in the rear they really are. Oh yeah, and that those nifty white uniforms show every little stain. My journey to nursing school was originally going to begin right after high school but then life happened and my journey took the long and winding road. I tried working in a grocery store, a convenience store, waitressing, construction work,  and hospital laundry. Then I went to school to be a medical assistant, which turned out to be a big waste of time and money when I couldn't find a job. I finally did go to nursing school and realized that it was everything and nothing like I thought it was going to be. And now I am going back, so I can be a better nurse, a better leader, a better educator, and of course a better provider since the money is better as an RN than an LPN. I want to be able to provide better care to my patients and to feel like I really know what I am doing. I have certainly learned a lot on the job, but I think the improved education will make a difference. I also learned along the way that book learning is only half of the knowledge I have gained. There truly is an art to nursing as well as a science and the art must be learned not taught. It is something that comes from within and allows me to celebrate victories, mourn losses, and hopefully know the right thing to do each and every day. Being a nurse has also helped me to overcome some of my own introvertedness as I must interact with others, including total strangers, and I cannot hide away from the world everyday. I know this continuation in my journey is not going to be easy, and this first semester really made me stretch my limits and abilities. I know that this will only make me a stronger person and a better nurse. I often wish things could just be easy, but you don't learn from easy. It is the challenges of life and school and everything else that add building blocks to character. Easy would just make me lazy and lazy never gets anywhere. That being said, I know that I do need a break every now and then to recharge and refocus. I am learning how to balance and I am trying to learn not to get so overwhelmed.  I cried on the first day of this semester and seriously questioned if I could really do it. I had been very casual in my attitude when telling everyone I was going back to school and then reality set in . But look, the semester is almost half over, my grades are good and I really feel like I am getting in the groove and learning something, including how to fill up a page with words that make sense and to do it in a reasonable amount of time. I know now for certain that my decision to continue my nursing education is the right one and this too shall pass, just like a kidney stone or gallstone. A little bit painful, but it won't kill me in the end. I know that one day I will look back on this and be glad I did it. I also hope to be an inspiration to others who are considering entering nursing school or continuing nursing school. And someday I will tell my future grandchildren and great grandchildren about this wonderful journey I took down the road with the vines and the speedbumps and the rabbits and the birds.. The good and the bad and the things that weren't as bad as I thought they were. And one day soon I will stand in my cap and gown and receive my diploma with my head held high and a giant smile on my face.

Journal Day 1, June 29, 2011

Wow, so I have to write a journal entry every day and it has to be at least 300 words long. I also have to write journal entries in another class and they have to be 200 words long at least. The first time I sat down to do a journal entry, I thought 200 words was like running a marathon (26 miles). How was I ever going to find enough to say to make an entry of 200-300 words? Turns out, it is really more like running a 5k race(3.1 miles) and not nearly as exhausting as the marathon. Seems like I am hardly out of breath by the time I am done. (No I am not a runner, just like the analogy.) The journey to any destination begins with a single step and any journal entry begins with a single word. And then another and another and another and before I know it I have filled up two or three pages with words.I guess I have more to say than I realize. I was really going to do my first journal entry on my credo, but I was having trouble accessing the resource link so I will try again tomorrow. Alright, now I feel like I am at a red light, jogging in place, waiting to move forward. I need to try to just keep writing, after all isn't that what freewriting is all about? Just writing anything as long as I am writing. That has to be my favorite reading assignment so far. Before that, I thought writing had to have a meaning and now I know that writing can just be that, writing. I really prefer walking to running, but I walk really fast. Running is just too hard on aging knee joints. Ha! Ha! I just told on myself. I have begun to accept that it is ok to grow old, and I hope to remain active through all my years. I recently heard about a woman in her 90's that ran a marathon and she didn't run her first one until she was over 80! How is that for inspiration. If she can accomplish that, than I can accomplish 7 journal entries a week. I just hope they start to flow a little better and maybe I can actually stay on the same subject for 300 words. I really wish the blog posting had a word count like my word perfect program. That way I wouldn't have to sit here and count every word by hand. I think I am reaching the bottom of the page, so I should be about done. I checked out the journal prompt link and found some interesting things to blog about, so I am going to sign off for now and I hope to have something intelligent and interesting to say tomorrow and the next day and the next day. Oh, and I  am starting to harvest from my garden. Nothing in the world better than picking something, washing it and eating it knowing exactly where it came from. Except for my cabbage which I guess I fed to the bugs. That's OK, everything has got to eat, including the bugs. Just wish they would have saved me some. They did make some pretty patterns in the leaves as they were munching away. I never did see them, but I think I heard them say thank you once or twice. Hey look, I reached the end of the page, only took about 15 minutes. Not bad.