Journal Day 2, June 30, 2011

So today I am going to talk about my journey to nursing school and how I got to be here today. I guess that I always wanted to be a nurse from the time I was a little girl. I remember reading the Clara Barton book series which described what I would now call "old school nursing", where nurses went with doctors to patient's homes to see them and surgery was not the modern medical technology of today. It was really more just about taking care of patients. I have always respected the nursing profession and couldn't wait to go to nursing school. Well, except for brief moments of wanting to be a doctor or a veternarian. I even remember when the St Johns School of Nursing was located at the hospital and thinking that someday I would get to go and wear that white uniform and nurse's cap. Ha! That was before I actually had to wear a nurse's cap and realized what a pain in the rear they really are. Oh yeah, and that those nifty white uniforms show every little stain. My journey to nursing school was originally going to begin right after high school but then life happened and my journey took the long and winding road. I tried working in a grocery store, a convenience store, waitressing, construction work,  and hospital laundry. Then I went to school to be a medical assistant, which turned out to be a big waste of time and money when I couldn't find a job. I finally did go to nursing school and realized that it was everything and nothing like I thought it was going to be. And now I am going back, so I can be a better nurse, a better leader, a better educator, and of course a better provider since the money is better as an RN than an LPN. I want to be able to provide better care to my patients and to feel like I really know what I am doing. I have certainly learned a lot on the job, but I think the improved education will make a difference. I also learned along the way that book learning is only half of the knowledge I have gained. There truly is an art to nursing as well as a science and the art must be learned not taught. It is something that comes from within and allows me to celebrate victories, mourn losses, and hopefully know the right thing to do each and every day. Being a nurse has also helped me to overcome some of my own introvertedness as I must interact with others, including total strangers, and I cannot hide away from the world everyday. I know this continuation in my journey is not going to be easy, and this first semester really made me stretch my limits and abilities. I know that this will only make me a stronger person and a better nurse. I often wish things could just be easy, but you don't learn from easy. It is the challenges of life and school and everything else that add building blocks to character. Easy would just make me lazy and lazy never gets anywhere. That being said, I know that I do need a break every now and then to recharge and refocus. I am learning how to balance and I am trying to learn not to get so overwhelmed.  I cried on the first day of this semester and seriously questioned if I could really do it. I had been very casual in my attitude when telling everyone I was going back to school and then reality set in . But look, the semester is almost half over, my grades are good and I really feel like I am getting in the groove and learning something, including how to fill up a page with words that make sense and to do it in a reasonable amount of time. I know now for certain that my decision to continue my nursing education is the right one and this too shall pass, just like a kidney stone or gallstone. A little bit painful, but it won't kill me in the end. I know that one day I will look back on this and be glad I did it. I also hope to be an inspiration to others who are considering entering nursing school or continuing nursing school. And someday I will tell my future grandchildren and great grandchildren about this wonderful journey I took down the road with the vines and the speedbumps and the rabbits and the birds.. The good and the bad and the things that weren't as bad as I thought they were. And one day soon I will stand in my cap and gown and receive my diploma with my head held high and a giant smile on my face.

Journal Day 1, June 29, 2011

Wow, so I have to write a journal entry every day and it has to be at least 300 words long. I also have to write journal entries in another class and they have to be 200 words long at least. The first time I sat down to do a journal entry, I thought 200 words was like running a marathon (26 miles). How was I ever going to find enough to say to make an entry of 200-300 words? Turns out, it is really more like running a 5k race(3.1 miles) and not nearly as exhausting as the marathon. Seems like I am hardly out of breath by the time I am done. (No I am not a runner, just like the analogy.) The journey to any destination begins with a single step and any journal entry begins with a single word. And then another and another and another and before I know it I have filled up two or three pages with words.I guess I have more to say than I realize. I was really going to do my first journal entry on my credo, but I was having trouble accessing the resource link so I will try again tomorrow. Alright, now I feel like I am at a red light, jogging in place, waiting to move forward. I need to try to just keep writing, after all isn't that what freewriting is all about? Just writing anything as long as I am writing. That has to be my favorite reading assignment so far. Before that, I thought writing had to have a meaning and now I know that writing can just be that, writing. I really prefer walking to running, but I walk really fast. Running is just too hard on aging knee joints. Ha! Ha! I just told on myself. I have begun to accept that it is ok to grow old, and I hope to remain active through all my years. I recently heard about a woman in her 90's that ran a marathon and she didn't run her first one until she was over 80! How is that for inspiration. If she can accomplish that, than I can accomplish 7 journal entries a week. I just hope they start to flow a little better and maybe I can actually stay on the same subject for 300 words. I really wish the blog posting had a word count like my word perfect program. That way I wouldn't have to sit here and count every word by hand. I think I am reaching the bottom of the page, so I should be about done. I checked out the journal prompt link and found some interesting things to blog about, so I am going to sign off for now and I hope to have something intelligent and interesting to say tomorrow and the next day and the next day. Oh, and I  am starting to harvest from my garden. Nothing in the world better than picking something, washing it and eating it knowing exactly where it came from. Except for my cabbage which I guess I fed to the bugs. That's OK, everything has got to eat, including the bugs. Just wish they would have saved me some. They did make some pretty patterns in the leaves as they were munching away. I never did see them, but I think I heard them say thank you once or twice. Hey look, I reached the end of the page, only took about 15 minutes. Not bad.

Freewriting from the I Believe List

I believe that i will live to be 100 . I want to live a fulfilling life and see and do as much as I can. I  think that I will have some wonderful stories to tell my grandchildren. Maybe I can get them to walk the Appalachian trail with me maybe when I am 90. I think that turning 100 is a wonderful accomplishment. I hope I still have  all my marbles then. I dont mind if I end up living in a nursing home so long as it is a good one. I wonder what my caretakers will be like and will they want to listen to my stories. I hope that at 100 I can still see and hear OK and get along without too much help. The idea of totally losing my independence scares me. Maybe  my family will take my home on weekends and holidays. This freewriting is harder than it seems. My thoughts just get all jumbled up. guess I need to work on a bucket list. What else do I want to do before I turn 100. I would like to go to alaska, and maybe the north pole. Hey maybe I can meet santa clause. I would like to visit every continent. I would like to climb mount everest. now that's funny because i really dont do heights or cold very well. Maybe by the time i get around to climbing the mountain there will be better and warmer clothes. I think the top of mt everest is about as close as you can get to touching the sky wiith your feet still on the ground,  I am running out of things to say.oh boy. what a day. hope i get more thoughts in my brain pretty soon. Maybe i should work on trying to write a song. thats really funny since i dont sing very well, cant carry atune in a bucket. Back to the bucket list. I would like to see a hummingbird nest. i used to collect bird nests as a kid and bird feathers. Even got to put them on display at the librarry. guess that makes me a real nerd. Evnen had my first job at the library whille every one else was working fast fgood.     379 words

This I Believe

1. I believe I am a good nurse
2. I believe that school is a challenge
3. I believe my kids are going to be good adults and good members of society
4. I believe that dogs make better pets than cats
5. I believe that living in the country brings me peace.
6. I believe that fishing is about more than just catching fish.
7. I believe that hunting is about more than getting a deer.
8. I believe that people are basically kind and good.
9. I believe I have a good job.
10. I believe that blogging is a challenge.
11. I believe that the internet is ruining the practice of reading books.
12, I believe that its a good thing I learned how to type.
13. I believe in being self sufficient
14. I believe that I am out of things to think about.
15. I believe that I want to walk the Appalachian trail before I die.
16 I believe I have made a difference in the lives of other people.
17. I believe that I can get through this class.
18. I believe that hummingbirds are fascinating to watch.
19. I believe in a higher plane of existence.
20 I believe in ghosts and spirits.
21 I believe that some people are truly evil.
22. I believe in spending time with family.
23. I believe that I will live to be 100.

Jung Typology comparison

Well, I just finished the Jung typology test. Not the most fun thing I have ever done, but I do feel that it reflected my personality rather accurately. It stated that I am a ISFJ type. I think that the introverted portion of that is accurate. I do prefer to be alone and have difficulty in social situations. In a way, online classes do work well for me, as I don't have to have face to face with others. On the flip side of that, I can't learn to interact better with others if I only communicate via computer. Luckily, my job does require me to interact with others and has helped me to overcome a bit of that introvertedness. I do think that a lot of writers are introverted people, preferring to communicate via the written word instead of personal interaction. It is definitely easier to be annonymous as writer than in other careers. I found it interesting that one of the career options for me on Jung was to be a nurse and that is what I do and what I am going back to school for. Perhaps this test can help me as a writer. While I may be an introvert, the characters I create in writing can be as extroverted as I want them to be. As a writer, I can be anyone. One thing I do know about myself is that I can change and grow as a person/student/writer/etc if I just put forth the effort to work toward what I want to improve about myself. It is all up to me.